I like John Edwards. Well, at least I did. He had an affair with a campaign aid, denied it for quite a while and then finally fessed up today. So, what – am I like suddenly some puritanical, holier than thou bonehead?
No. I could care less that he had an affair. I could care less what people do in their relationships, because it is not for me to judge or throw stones. But he lost all my respect and gained my hatred when he had an affair while his wife was battling breast cancer.
Most of you know about PinkHat, her battle and victory with breast cancer. We’ve been very involved with the cause for a long time now, including building retails stores just for the purpose of donation, Mary has been a board member and even the president of a local not-for-profit breast cancer foundation and we donate a tremendous amount of time to that donation to this day.
The thing we learned while going through this process, is that more than 50% of husbands, confronted with their wives’ breast cancer, leave. The statistic is WAY off the charts compared to normal divorce, and the timing makes it very clear as well: Men cannot handle breast cancer and they leave.
I respected Edwards because it looked as though he was an (reasonably) honorable man, genuinely concerned about the people around him and his country. Well FUCK THAT: How can a man be genuinely concerned about “the people” and the country if he cannot simply take care of his ailing wife? How can a man be more interested if GETTING LAID than keeping his word to his wife, in her TIME OF NEED and while he’s telling us all, at the same time, that he’s the right man to lead this country?
John Edwards you are not a man. You have lost every ounce of respect I had for you and I hope that any and all prospects of you ever being involved in public office are thwarted forever. You deserve the hell you are about to face. Your disgraceful behavior points to such a profound lack of compassion, discipline and moral compass that I am aghast.
Fuck You John Edwards, for being EXACTLY WHAT AMERICANS HATE ABOUT THEIR POLITICIANS.
the affair issue to me generally seems like a non-thing. It’s the lying when your caught that is annoying to me.
But i do agree that at a time when you may be spending possibly the last moments you may have together, and helping to battle so those moments may not be the last, that having an affair, at that time, marks you permanently as a fucktard.
I am sure I can understand it in some respect, the stress, anxiety, fear, etc etc, all leading to just needing to bang someone. But it still is no excuse at that time.
It kind makes for that gross conversation that you see in movies, “hey should we be doing this, your wife’s not dead yet.”
There is a play, now running at the Phoenix Theater, called “Unbeatable.” It is an excellent portrayal of what women go through during the process of discovery, denial etc etc (not the classic 5 Stages of Grief, more like an inner discovery on what we want from life and how we overcome adversity) – and in it, we see a husband come close to abandoning his wife, and the reasons why.
I pray, NBs, that you never need to go through what PinkHat and our family did through her cancer (And to be clear, what we went through is nothing compared to what some other families do, AND we had a happy ending) – but I speculate that you’d be the kind of man to stick it out, and to find satisfaction in the honor of doing what you said you’d do, rather than requiring pleasures of the flesh while your life partner fights for her life.
Diseases like Cancer, Alzheimer’s, MS etc change things (duh, not being trite here) – suddenly the most important aspect of why we chose marriage comes to the forefront. No longer is it for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health: it may be just in worse, poorer and in sickness until the partner passes on. And if you are asking to be the leader of the free world, you’d best understand what it is to commit to something, regardless of how hard it may be.
This is why I detest him now: he had the chance to show his mettle, he failed.
I married my wife, knowing full well she will probably battle breast cancer at some point. Mother had it at 45, grandmother died at 30 from it, aunt had it, etc etc etc. Basically every single woman in her family had, and most lost because of the decade they lived in.
Obviously, I have no way of knowing ahead of time how I will handle it, but I at least can be pretty sure I won’t be an asshole…
Yeay! Im better than a presidential candidate! Hard to believe, i know. :drama:
Nuts – when/if that ever even becomes a scare, please let PinkHat and I know, for we have all the right connections to make sure that it is taken care of correctly and right quick.
:sigh:
I’ll think good thoughts for you and J that this never comes to pass.