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[gnarlyhat]

*walks in with a coding limp*

Hi ... my name is gnarlyguy and I am a handicap. I want to get a prosthetic brain. I'm sick of scavenging for leftover codes and missing the bus when I can't get up fast enough to catch it. You know ... it's not fun when you see little kids mocking & doing cartwheels faster than me trying to run. So last night while smoking a big fat  I thought to myself ... fuck it. I need a new prosthetic brain that can code and I hear the guys over at the Cache would probably be able to advise on which one to get.

I need one which is able to suit the following tasks ... submitting webforms, scraping data, automating ftp uploads, content manupilation, posting data, database and such. I know most would say "Go with what you think is best" but I would need one which provides good documentation and support because you don't usually get a new brain and I want one that has good after sales service and support. As I'm a poor guy, I can only afford one and one only.

Here's a few I've been looking at but I try to sway away from anything that has the Microsoft label on it. PHP, Perl & Python. Funny all of them starts with P. Which is coincidently the first letter of my real name, the island which I'm from, the liquid & solid which I excrete when I visit the loo and of course the brand of a particular antidepressant I'm taking due to repeated torture the kids in my neighborhood have been giving me.

Thank you for listening and I hope to get good advise

[perkiset]

I've got one right over here for you. It was from a guy named Abbey... Abbey something.

Wow man, eccentric first post. You'll do well here.
Welcome to the Cache.
/p

[dink]

Abby, Abbey, Abbney?  I can't remember either.  Last name was def normal tho.   

Hey gnarly.  Bout time you got your buns over here.

Put on your armor.  Perk will tell you that you need a php brain.  Dirk will say to get a perl brain.  Nop will say....well who know?  Maybe you could use his old brain.

[perkiset]

Abby, Abbey, Abbney?  I can't remember either.  Last name was def normal tho.   

  That was actually a Marty Feldman quote when Gene Wilder asked him, "Where did you get that brain" in Young Frankenstein.

Put on your armor.  Perk will tell you that you need a php brain.  Dirk will say to get a perl brain.  Nop will say....well who know?  Maybe you could use his old brain.

It is true, that although I am deeply respectful of everyone and their disciplines and skillz here, I am known to tout the tools that I am currently deep into... and that would be 4 parts LAMPhp and 1 part JavaScript with an Ajax chaser.

[gnarlyhat]

Keep it coming. The kids are still laughing

[dink]

[ That was actually a Marty Feldman quote when Gene Wilder asked him, "Where did you get that brain" in Young Frankenstein.

Yep.  One of my very favorites.  The casting was perfect.  The direction was perfection.  So many sight gags, so many thinly veiled innuendos, I need to see it again soon.

hahaha.  Just remembered the look on Wilder's face when the hump on Feldman's back shifted.   Oh shite.

"Oh, sweet mystery of life...." LoL

Oh, ya.  Bout forgot gnarly.  Hey, you can't go wrong with php for a server side language.  For multiple reasons.  Not least of which is your background.   

[m0nkeymafia]

gnarley u following me? 

[timjohn]

lol @ young frankenstein. 

anyway, gnarly, welcome. i would suggest php out of the 3 you mentioned. it is a lot easier for beginners to jump in and start coding some simple scripts, at least in my experience. i have been coding in php for almost 6 months, and i feel that i have made a ton of progress. i looked into perl and python, but the structure and syntax were not as easy on the eyes and didn't seem to click with my style of logic/thought process/whatever.

here is a tip that might be helpful. pick a super simple little task that you could quickly research and write a script for in each language you are interested in. here is an example of such a script:

-take a string, 'hello world'
-output each letter, and separate with carriage returns, so it would look like this:

h
e
l
l
o

w
o
r
l
d

research briefly and write this script for php, python, perl, vb.net or whatever else you might be interested in learning. whichever was easiest and felt most natural to you to read and write, go with that language.

okay, now that will be $100 for your consultation, sir. 

[gnarlyhat]

I see many points for PHP ...

gnarley u following me? 

following you where?

timjohn: Great tip but alas I'm broke

[nop_90]

A coder is like a god.
Out of nothing he makes objects appear or disappear at will.
Words like impossible, difficult etc do not exist in a coder's vocabulary.

In a coders world things like memory leaks exist.
But how can memory leak when it is still there ?
If the memory leaks why not catch it in a bucket and the pour back into computer ?

Coders never fail.
You point out thousands of coders who have,
But they where never coders in the first place.

[perkiset]

Noppasan has left the building and ascended to a new dimension.

[timjohn]

gnarly, why don't you keep us posted on what language you choose to jump into and let us know how it goes? i am always interested in progress and learning, whether that be my own or someone else's. as wise men such as nopfucius often say, "if you are not growing (learning) you are dying." and, "there is no try. do, or do not." oh wait, that was yoda. errrr, you get my point. or do you? hehe.

ok, back to doing lines of pcp, errr, i mean php. 

[perkiset]

 

Someone's having a better Monday than me...

[dink]

pssst Perk.  I think TJ is basil in disguise.

[nop_90]

lmfao @ tim and perks
good points by tim
I have learned some amazing tricks from fellows who posted thier code on the net, but could not even make a makefile

perks may been too old for this.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolfenstein_3D

For me I never liked 3d games that much. But it is historical in that first 3d game to run on DOS puters.

Anyway case in point.
Experts generally said that it is impossible for a 3d game (u need a theoretical 18 frames a second) to run on DOS puter.
They even showed why it not possible etc.

2 punk ass kids never read the papers showing why it not possible. Or maybe they did but did not understand. The "experts" when the rendered where going left to right, like a TV set works.
But if u render top to bottom, you do not need as many calculations. It now is possible. Ofcourse the experts never think of that since well it stupid to render that way.

Anyway the rest as they say is history.