I have the best client ever.
She is marketing manager at a large storage appliance company.
She is thinks the orderly passing of time is an arbitrary limitation which does not affect us.
She thinks that it is possible to manipulate the space time continuum and since we can't we are failures and do not value her as a client (which we coincidentally now don't)
So... What chain of events led to this award I am giving myself?
This is a mere taste. The whole event lasted about 24 hours (so far).
Us 1pm: here is the email design for approval.
Her 7pm: this will be approved first thing in the morning tomorrow.
Her 11pm: why is the email not done yet?!?! I need it asap!!!!!!!
Us 1115pm: uh what? When was it approved? You said tomorrow morning you should have approval.
Her like 30 seconds later: this is unacceptable!!!! Threat, wine, threat, wine, you are incompetent, blah blah.
Us: sleeping...
Her 9am: it is approved, I expect delivery so we can start blasting at 10am.
Us: uh, it still needs to be programmed.
Her: right that should only take a few minutes. Why was this not done last night when I asked?
Us: so to be clear, we were supposed to deliver an email template, ready for blasting, before it was approved?
Her: yes. It's not like we ever have changes. (sidenote: BULLSHIT)
Us: it will be delivered around 1pm.
Us: Delivered for approval....
Her: oh my god, what is wrong with you people? These links don't go anywhere!!! I sent this to all my sales guys to start blasting. This is making me look so bad.
Us: because the landing page is not yet done.
Her: WHAT?
This needed to be done too. This is such a failure.
Us: you have not approved any of the landing page content, nor have you provided us a domain name, nor has the design of the page been approved.
Her: that may be, but why can't you point the links to the domain. Don't you know what your doing?
Us: we cannot point to a domain that does not yet exist.
Her: use somedomainname.com please do what you need to to set it up.
Us: bought the domain.
Her 30 mins later: why did you buy the domain?
Us: you just told us to do what we have to in order to get the domain and landing page up asap.
Her: yes, but I didn't want you to buy the domain, we will set it up at some point when our tech guys can do it?
Us: but without the domain bought and set up, how can we set up the domain and landing page.
Her: aren't you guys supposed to know how to do these things? You do claim to be experts.
Us: so, to make sure we have this right. You expected us to deliver an email template for use, before it was approved for content and design. You expected us to do it midnight. You also expected us to know the domain name without your response to the prior inquiry. Additionally, you feel we should have the domain and ensure setup and ready for traffic, before the domain was purchase, setup in dns, content approval, design approval?
Her: yes.
Wow.
I win.
