Verily and forsooth, I do say unto thee. Deny not the iron bands of capitalism that do vex you thus, embrace the vixen that doth call itself "Apple" and not unlike the beast with two backs, partake upon the fluid of life that is iPad while granting Steve Ceasar that which is his. Thine southern nether portal may never quiver and wink with the same spunk or spritely nature, but the glaze upon thine eyes and the smile, dripped upon ruby lips will surely tell the tale.

Alas, I rise like a 5 1/2 ft. non-newsworthy tsunami, bequeathing the unbequeathed, for queath's sake, save gaseous misunderstandings of the word, verily I said. With rug burned and battle proven knees, I defend not my sexual orientation - though nations have fallen in the attempt. Yet in truth, when yond
brown eye same star that's southward from the pole penetrates my very existence I yield to the council of literary masters. Witness hither sage and soothing prose, for fuck's sake anon:
Peace! break thee off! Look where it comes again! Quiet, stop! Look it’s coming again!
Riddle me hither. Would it not be creepier to the gods if the last block of text was pure Shakespeare while the rest of mine retardo-rant proved gobblygook?
Yet who am I to deny the truth and valor of such side-splitting humor as the noblest of perks produced? DMan ye sayeth?? Blasphemy of the darkest order of creeds! Yet I've butt barely dreamed of Caesar in my most criminally moist and prescient of high Eastern visions, as Caesar hitherto fails to exist in my lifetime.
Shit what a nightmare! Oh god, I think I'm sleep posting again. [Billy Mays here!!!!, with Sleep Blogger Away
TM]