@vs that's amazing. I don't have the patience to read those texts more than once and I simply haven't been able to plow through the bible cover to cover. It just pisses me off so damn much
I love the bible greatest book ever written
Its got it all.
Incest - noah's daughters getting him drunk so he will fuck them. I guess they got really horney after the flood and no men around. They tried to get thier daddy to fuck them when he was sober. But he would not. So they got him drunk
Micheangelo paints a nice scene of his daughters getting him drunk. Fuk incest porn 500+ years old
After you read the bible several times you can have fun with "xtain fundies". Just wait for them to make some sort of statement along the lines. "I follow the bible literally"
Then you can ask them questions like. If you caught an STD did you have your penis examined by the priest ?
Is that a polyester shirt you are wearing ? The bible forbids you from wearing cross blend garments.
Is that a skin rash you have ? Did you have your pastor examine you ? How come you are not sitting outside the city for 15 days until it gets better and then getting reexamined by the pastor
Or the story of "Lot" great story. He was a "good man". Well lets examine what a good man does. He offers his virgin daughters up to be sodomized by strangers. Wow that sounds like a blast
So if u visit a fundies house and he has daughters. Well how come he is not offering them to you to be sodomized
It is implied that there where temple prostitutes. It states a priest must not marry a temple prostitute. Obviously church was a lot more fun back then. Hmmm I wonder if you are allowed to bonk the temple prostitute while listening to the sermon. Would the priest get mad as you are bonking if you make too much noise
Fun things to do with animals. Samson when he was king got like a bunch of foxes. Then he tied a bunch or fire torches to thier tails and let them run around throught his enemies fields.
Seriously you need a good translation. Also read the book like you would read a biased history book or a good novel.
I think the most important part of the book it you see that people 4000+ years later have not changed very much.
And then it is down right pornographic
1 How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.
2 Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.
3 Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.
4 Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus.
5 Thine head upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair of thine head like purple; the king is held in the galleries.
6 How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!
7 This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
8 I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;
9 And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.
10 I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.
11 Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages.
12 Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves.
13 The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved.
Ohhh yah baby I wanna see the joints of ur thighs
So see it can even help you get laided
