putting PHP on a database server makes me feel dirty.
lol
Remember also, that this is not a 'doz machine Nuts: an install of PHP will not integrate itself with anything. It's pretty much standalone (unless you specifically request it to integrate with Apache) ... it's just another executable that won't do anything on your box until you call it.
I get VS' thought of "just use PERL" but I already have too many languages involved in my systems... having a PHP interpreter handy is a delightful thing to me.