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Author Topic: A book you must read before u travel/live in asia  (Read 2505 times)
nop_90
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« on: November 13, 2009, 09:54:53 PM »

http://www.amazon.com/Private-Dancer-Stephen-Leather/dp/9810539169
The author was not able to publish the book for quite a while, despite being an established author.
Origionally he gave the book away as a free download.
You can see that author has spent a lot of time in the real asia (20+ years)

Basically there are 3 views in the book. Each person is telling the story from their perspective.
1) Stupid americano who falls in love with a bargirl.
2) Bargirl who is in her own way in love with the americano
3) Aussie bar owner who has been in the "real" thailand for ever and seen it all. He has a very harsh "real" view of asia and yet he loves asia.
I would say it ranks up there with "The silent american" by greene.

Anyway just came to mind today.
Nutshell nieghbor who is an expat, was going to the "clubs". Don't get me wrong, i like bargirls, but they all lie Smiley. (Again if u read private dance, they lie but they do not).
He is meanwhile married (again it is hard to explain to "moralistic" westerners about GRO. For many filipino men, the "club" is a place to blow off steam, and for most filipino men majority of the time they do not have sex with the girls). The girls are "entertainers" they tell you funny stories, sing songs and if they are a good girl, they are very charming etc etc. And filipino men know that it is "not real".

Anyway long story short. Neighbor started going to club. All cool. Then he fell in love with one of these girls. Turns out that over the last year he was giving this girl $1.2K+ a month. I just thought that he was going to the club like I was so I did not know the full situation. His wife came over to talk to my wife. Out comes this $1.2K a month garbage. To make matter worse he told his wife that he wants to leave her for this bargirl. Fortunately his wife beat the hell out of him with a pipe, and then said if he attempts to leave the house, she will tell the police he was beating her.

As his wife said. She it is not so much that he goes to these places, but if he is not careful he puts himself in danger.
Sometimes these bargirls have a boyfriend, it also came out in chiss miss (gossip) that a foriegner got knifed to death. Basically girl wanted more money, foriegner would not provide and it got messy.

Again the girls despite being working girls have feelings also. Like don't tell the girl you love her. Tell the girl straight out you are married, you just come here to relax etc.
That way the girl does not get any silly ideas.
Also be nice to mamasan Smiley. I always flirt with mamasan and tell her she is the prettiest girl etc Smiley. She tells very funny story once you get to know her.
She one time ask me what type of work I do. I replied I make money off the internet. She then saids, ohhh "roxanne makes money off the internet also" she very smart girl. She talk to foriegner on net and then convince them to send her $$$$ Smiley. I guess the girl has like 15+ foriegners lined up, and she get them to send her $100-200 a month so she does not have to work in the club anymore Cheesy


 





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oldenstylehats
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« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2009, 08:41:07 AM »

Fortunately his wife beat the hell out of him with a pipe, and then said if he attempts to leave the house, she will tell the police he was beating her.
Dude. Different cultures, I guess, but beating someone with a pipe and then threatening to make a false claim about spousal abuse... I don't know. Not cool.
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« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2009, 11:58:00 AM »

Thanks for the advice nop!!  Loved reading about it. 

>Nutshell nieghbor who is an expat

He got off lucky with just a pipe beating from his wife!  Not that I condone violence of any kind.  I'm a peaceful man.  But doing stupid shit like that can get you far worse in foreign countries. 

This place reminds me of Miss Cafe, this "cafe" I went to in San Jose.  It's wall to wall Asians.  The girls are unbelievably gorgeous, wearing extremely sexy clothes, but there is no sex - no "lap dances".  They just smile and treat you very sweetly.  They don't even serve alcohol!  I was really confused since this is completely unlike America. 

So I took my girlfriend who's 1/2 Japanese and has lived in Japan.  Not that living in Japan has anything to do with this but in about 5 minutes or less she looked at me and said - let's go now ok?

 ROFLMAO

She explained that the reason the place was filled with nothing but Asian men was because these girls are there to entertain them just by being extremely pretty, sweet and letting you to look at them and talk with them.

So my gf was uncomfortable since she really doesn't get the same thrill as I do looking at the pretties.

Oh well, maybe it's unrelated but it reminded me of that time - 2 weeks ago  ROFLMAO
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« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2009, 05:52:11 PM »

This place reminds me of Miss Cafe, this "cafe" I went to in San Jose.  It's wall to wall Asians.  The girls are unbelievably gorgeous, wearing extremely sexy clothes, but there is no sex - no "lap dances".  They just smile and treat you very sweetly.  They don't even serve alcohol!  I was really confused since this is completely unlike America. 
It is very confusing  ROFLMAO
To make matters here more complex in PH because it is a catholic country, stripping is illegal. There are some places where the police turn a blind eye to it, but by american standards it quite innocent.

It is related. PH is like a grab bag of Asia,America and Spanish.
So u have a whole range of clubs. From a disco (i guess like a modern version the place in the quiet american) where couples might go. But there are girls like u described also. Those girls you can buy "lady drinks" for, and they just entertain you in the manner you described. All the way to the thailand type where you can "barfine" the girl and it is implied u will have sex with her. For the ones u described as ur GF said thier job basically is just to be pretty and admired Smiley.

With PH (i suspect it is like that in all of asia) everything is a paradox. In the west all things are very black and white.
For the pipe, it was actually one of those PVC pipes. So it did not do any real damage.
I don't agree with violence either. But i think his wife just got so upset about him being silly .......

I think in asia what perplexes westerners the most is that pretty much any statement you can make is true.
Women here all the time will complain about "sexist" men here all the time. And it is true.
But yet you will meet women in the police swat team, and yet it does not really seem to be an issue.

I think the funniest was a police chief being questioned.
Anyway the reporter goes to the police station of this town.
On the lawn infront of the police station are all these tables and chairs set up.
Police are there and other people are just wandering arround drinking eatting and having a good time.

Reporter : Sir, This town has a strict ordinance about serving of alcohol in public places. Do you strictly enforce this ordinance ?
Police Chief (beer in hand, a little tipsy) : Yes I strictly enforce all ordinances. Especially the serving and consumption of alchol in public places.
Reporter : Is that a beer you are drinking ? What about all those policemen in uniform drinking and all those 100s of people are they drinking ?
Police Chief : Yes.
Reporter : So all those people including yourself are breaking the law ?
Police Chief (takes another drink) : No.
Reporter : The law states no drinking in public you all are drinking, therefore you should arrest all of those people including yourself.
Police Chief : We are not breaking the law. Today is a special day, it is my birthday. For my birthday many people have come. I wish people to have a good time during my birthday. How can people have a happy time, unless they are drinking. Infact by not serving alcohol would be the wrong thing to do. I would be a very poor host if I did not serve alcohol.
Reporter : That sounds very sensible.
Reporter and camera crew presumably go and join party Smiley

Like all rules here, there always seems to be an exception Smiley



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« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2009, 08:22:32 PM »

Thanks for the reminder of this book nop, wanted to get it a while ago, and as Im a frequent holidayer in thailand, love to read the books that tell all about whats lying under the surface.

For anyone else interested stephen still has the pdf version up for download.. just google "private dancer ebook", you'll find it.  Wink
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isthisthingon
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« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2009, 11:15:03 AM »

Quote
Reporter : Is that a beer you are drinking ? What about all those policemen in uniform drinking and all those 100s of people are they drinking ?
Police Chief : Yes.

 ROFLMAO

Quote
How can people have a happy time, unless they are drinking.

 ROFLMAO

That's funny.  It must be tough to guess what "laws" are going to be imposed on any given day though Undecided
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« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2009, 05:35:14 PM »

That's funny.  It must be tough to guess what "laws" are going to be imposed on any given day though Undecided
I am not sure about thailand (I am guessing it similar) but with PH and Indonesia the law is always elastic and open to interpretation.

A few tips and pointers so u can have a happy time.

Always stay calm and relaxed. Avoid open confrontation. Asians do not like open confrontation, it upsets them.

Also always be respectful to officials. As a rule of thumb, be respectful to all locals you meet. Some guy who looks really poor, you don't know. It is possible that his cousin is chief of police. Next time he talks to his cousin, you might be in a world of hurt.

Do not state you are an american. You have special rights, how shit runs in USA etc. This will make the cop very angry. Often they like to set an example of foriegners obeying the law etc. Then if u are really lucky u can spend 10+ years in a asian jail and then get to star on one of those "prisoner's abroad" TV series if u survive.

Do not offer the cop money. He will be very insulted. He might then arrest you on trying to corrupt a public official. Let him bring up the amount etc. You possibly be able to negotiate the amount.
Cop : My salary is very small. I need to send my kid to school i need $100.
You : I don't have that much, I can't afford it sir.
Cop : How is that possible ? Everyone knows foriegners have lots of $$$$.
You : I do make a lot of money sir. (alway agree with cop) But I have a 2nd wife (mistress), and she wants a new dress. And then my 1st wife found out about the 2nd wife and now she is very angry. So now I have to buy 1st wife a new necklace to make her happy. It is horrible sir, I do not know what to do. And now the 2nd wife is angry about the 1st wife. I am only a man and can not help myself. The filipina is so beautiful.
Cop : Yah i got the same problem. Filipina very good woman but when they get angry watch out. (If you are lucky then he will babble on about the problems with his wife and mistresses, eventually he might forget about wanting the $100 even, or give u good pointers how to deal with angry wives. Or sometimes he will counter offer with $50. Better to just pay up. You might have room for further negotiation but best not to push your luck).

If the cops come to your house because someone is complaining about a violation etc. Always be very hospitable. Invite the cop in. Ask him if he would like to sit down. Offer him food and refreshment. Again try avoid "facts". Just pretend cop is coming for a friendly visit. Lets say in this case you are having a wild crazy party at your house. Someone is now complaining about all the noise from the videoke machine you rented, and the vast ammounts of booze being consumed. (This misunderstanding occured because you did not invite nieghbors to party). Explain to the cop that your brother is visiting from america (or it is ur birthday or some crap like that). Then explain that you want to show your brother filipino hospitality etc. How it is very important that he has a good time since you only see him once every 2 years etc. Usually the cop will agree that it is a "special occasion" and that an "exception" can be made. If the cop appears to be friendly, you can ask him does he have a private cell number. Explain that you do not want "misunderstandings" to occur in the future. If he agrees that is very good. In the event that you get in trouble you can call number and he will aid you in sorting out "misunderstandings". Ussually in that case you will later have to send a "gift" to his house to show your appreciation.

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